Judean Date Palm is back, Mary Beard agrues with Plato, and 6,000-Year-Old Win from Greece

Extinct Tree Grow Again!

The not so "new" arrival of the Judean Date Palm Tree  

The Judean Date Palm Tree is the stuff of legends, and that's what happened to it. Once flourishing in antiquity this iconic tree of Judea slowly died out...UNTIL. Yes, that's right! In 1960's at an excavation of Herod the Great's palace, a 2,000 year jar was unearthed with some seeds for this legendary tree! When they planted the seed, a momentous event occurred: these seeds were the oldest known tree seeds to germinate and continue to thrive. Read the rest here.


Classicist Mary Beard Comes to Argue with Plato; Not Praise Him

The renowned author and classicist Mary Beard is at it again. She is well known for her documentaries along with confrontational stances on "Does Latin have a Future" early this summer at the British Museum. However, she recognizes the students and teachers priority to question texts; even those so integrated into Western Civilization that we take them for granted at times.
Read on here.

6,000 Year Old Wine Found in Ancient Greece
 Everything gets better with age, right? The find was from at Diliki Tash in Northern Greece. However, there was no tangible wine found; ceramic pieces were discovered having wine residue. This residue was then tested and analyzed. It is believed to be the oldest "traces" of wine in Europe.
Read more on it here.

Romulus and Remus

The following is a definition submitted to the Ancient History Encyclopedia, which is a great free resources for students of any age.


In Roman mythology, Romulus and his twin brother Remus were the children of Rhea Silvia and Mars (or in some variations the demi-god hero Hercules). Romulus is best known for being the founder of the city of Rome. Their story is record by many authors including Vergil who claims their birth and adventures are fated in order for Rome to be founded.

 

The Capitoline She-Wolf with figures of Romulus and Remus by Antonio Pollaiuolo (1433-98) c.1484-96 (bronze)

The Birth & Parentage of Romulus and Remus

Romulus and Remus were the direct descendants of Aeneas, whose fate-driven adventures to discover Italy are described by Vergil in "The Aeneid." Romulus and Remus were related to Aeneas through their mother's father; Numitor. Numitor was a king of Alba Longa, an ancient city of Latium in central Italy, and father to Rhea Silvia. Before Romulus' and Remus' conception, Numitor's reign was usurped by Nimitor's younger brother: Amulius. Amulius inherited control over Alba Longa's treasury with which he is able to dethrone Numitor and become king. Amulius, wishing to avoid any conflict of power, killed Nimitor's male heirs and forced Rhea Silvia to become a Vestal Virgin. Vestal Virgins were priestesses of Vesta, patron goddess of the hearth; they were charged with keeping a sacred fire that was never to be extinguished and to take vows of chastity.




Romulus and Remus by Rubens 17thC

There is much debate and variation as to whom was the father of Romulus and Remus. Some myths claim that Mars appeared and laid with Rhea Silvia; other myths attest that the demi-god hero Hercules was her partner. However, the author Livy contests that Rhea Silvia was in fact raped by an unknown man, but blamed her pregnancy on divine conception. In either case, Rhea Silvia was discovered to be pregnant and gave birth to her sons. It was custom that any Vestal Virgin betraying her vows of celibacy were condemned to death; the most common death sentence was to be buried alive. However, King Amulius, fearing the wrath of the paternal god (Mars or Hercules) did not wish to directly stain his hands with the mother's and children's blood. So, King Amulius imprisoned Rhea Silvia and ordered the twin's death by means live burial, exposure, or being thrown into the Tiber River. He reasoned that if the twins were to die not by sword, but by the elements; he and his city would be saved from punishment of the gods. He ordered a servant to carry out the death sentence, but, in every scenario of this myth, the servant takes pity on the twins and spares their lives. The servant, then, places the twins into a basket onto the River Tiber, and the river carries the boys safely.

The Discovery of Romulus and Remus


Faustulus entrusting Romulus and Remus
to his wife Acca Larentia, c.1643

Marble statue representing Tiber River, Temple of Isis and Serapis. Detail, Cornucopia and Wolf nursing twins Romulus and Remus, From Rome 2nd c. AD

The river god Tibernus ensures their safety with easy and calm floating along the river, and causes their basket to catch in the roots of a nearby fig tree. The tree was located at the base of the Palatine Hill in the Velabrum swamp. The twins were first discovered by a she-wolf or lupa, who suckled them and they were fed by a wood-pecker or picus. Eventually, they were discovered and cared for by a shepherd and his wife: Faustulus and Acca Larentia.The two boy grew up to be shepherds like their adoptive father. One day while they were herding their sheep, they were met by shepherds of King Amulius. These shepherds started a fight with Romulus and Remus in which Remus was captured and taken before King Amulius. Romulus gathered and incited a band of local shepherds to join him in rescuing his brother. King Amulius believing that Rhea Silvia's children were dead; he did not recognize Remus or Romulus. Romulus freed his brother, and in the process killed King Amulius.

Romulus and Remus Begin to Quarrel

Romulus and Remus by Scarpelli

After Amulius' death, the brothers rejected the citizen's offer of the crown of Alba Longa and instead reinstated Nimitor as king. They left Alba Longa seeking to find their own city, and each set out to find the best locale. The brothers quarreled over the location of the foundation of their new city; Romulus wished to discover the city on the Palatine Hill, while Remus wished to find it on the Aventine Hill. In order to settle their disagreement, they agreed to consult augury; augury is a type of prophecy in which birds are examined and observed to determine what actions or persons the gods favor. Each brother prepared a sacred space on their respective hills and began to watch for birds. Remus claimed to have seen six birds, while Romulus said he saw twelve birds. Romulus asserted that he was the clear winner by six birds, but Remus argued that since he saw his six birds first, that he had won. The brothers remained at a standstill and continued to quarrel until Romulus began to dig trenches and build walls around his hill: the Palatine Hill.

Death of Remus & Founding of Rome

Romulus and Remus (gouache on paper)

Baraldi, Severino 1930

Romulus and Remus (gouache on paper)

 Baraldi, Severino 1930

In response to Romulus' wall, Remus made continuous fun of the wall and his brother's city. Remus was so bold as to jump over Romulus' wall jestingly. In response to Remus' mockeries and for jumping over his wall, Romulus angered by his brother's belittlement killed him. There are several versions as to how Remus is killed on the day Rome was founded. In Livy's version, Remus simply died after jumping over Romulus' wall, which is thought to be a sign from the gods of Rome's power and fate. According to St. Jerome, Remus is killed for mockeries by one of Romulus' supporters either Fabius or Celer, who killed Remus by throwing a spade at his head. Afterwards, Romulus mournfully buries his brother bestowing upon his funeral honors. However, most sources would convey that Romulus killed Remus. Remus' death and founding of Rome are dated by Livy to have taken place on April 21st, 753 B.C.E.

 

Beginnings of Rome: War & Peace

Romulus, Victor over Acron, hauls the rich booty to the temple of Jupiter, by Ingres

Romulus named his city Roma after himself. Following the foundation of his city, Romulus instated a governmental system which implemented Senators and Patricians. As the popularity of his city and government system grew so did the population. Rome's initial population was supplied by fugitives, exiles, run away slaves and criminals and other cast offs. Due to the inflation of male population, Rome was unable to produce any generations of their own. As a result of the low ratio of women to men, the newly Roman men decided to abduct women from a neighboring city. They invited the Sabines and Latins to a festival of Cronus at the Circus Maximus, and while the men of these cities were distracted; the Roman men carried off their women into Rome. Many of these women were persuaded to marry these Roman men. However, in response to this rape or abduction of women, the Sabine and Latin men went to war against Rome.

The Sabine Women, 1799

Romulus was the definitive winner of this war and his victory marked with Rome's first triumph. Although defeated, the Sabine king, Titus Tatius, attempted to assault Rome by marching on the Capitoline citadel. The citadel's commander's daughter promised to open the gates for the Sabine army if they gave her whatever "they bore on their left hand." When the Sabine army passed through, the poor girl expected hundreds of golden bracelets, but unfortunately she was crushed to death by their large shields. The Sabines were sieging the Romans and the Romans almost lost until Romulus prayed to Jupiter for help. Jupiter answered aiding the Romans to a final victory. Eventually, a truce formed between the Romans and Sabines along with Tatius and Romulus agreeing to form a joint reign of two kings. They jointly ruled for five years, and integrated each other's customs from calendars, gods, and even military tactics. This was a time of peace within Rome, but this intercity harmony ceased due to Tatius' actions. After these prosperous five years, Tatius was caught sheltering some of his allies who had robbed the neighboring allied Lavinians and murdered some of their ambassadors. The Senate decided that Tatius must go to Lavinium to sacrifice and appease both the locals and god in regards to his crimes. While in Lavinium, Tatius was assassinated and Romulus became the sole king of Rome. For the next twenty years, Romulus sought to expand Rome's land through war. When Numitor died, Romulus incorporated Alba Long into Rome's government and lands. Through Romulus reign, he slowly became more autocratic and the Senate became resentful.
 
Death of Romulus

The Death of Romulus by Mirys

The life of Romulus has several endings depending on the myth and source. In one myth, Romulus mysteriously disappeared in a storm or whirlwind. Romulus is claimed have been ascended to the heavens to become a god by several eye-witnesses. There was the suspicion that Romulus death was plotted by the Senate in order to reassume their own power. Livy writes about these events, while Cassius Dio writes about how Romulus was surrounded by hostile, resentful senators who "rent limb from limb" the senate-house, which was then followed by an eclipse and sudden storm (which Dio claims to be the same phenomenon that happened at his birth). Romulus disappeared in 717B.C.E as reported by Plutarch at the age of 53, but Dionysius of Halicarnassus reports that he died at the age of 55.

Myth or Man
There is much debate on whether Romulus and Remus were a real man or simply a myth or even a combination of both. While most scholars believe that Aeneas, the catalyst of the foundation of Rome, may have existed in some folktale; his Roman mythology was not solidified until Augustus commissioned Vergil's epic "The Aeneid." Romulus and Remus feats and adventures are somewhat far-fetched to be taken literally, but some scholars attest that their characters may be based in some historic foundation. Foundation myths are often convoluted with the aspect of fiction and non-fiction. While, it may never be certain if these twin brothers were real; what it certain is that their story was treated with respect and discussed at length even by the ancients.


Art & Portrayal
Romulus and Remus are most commonly portrayed together in art and on coins. They are often only seen in art as infants being suckled by the she-wolf. They are featured in this manner on the statue of Romulus and Remus in Siena, Italy. Siena which was founded, according to myth, by Remus' son: Senius. Likewise, they are also featured on a mosaic found in Yorkshire from 300 C.E known as the Wolf Mosaic. However, the most famous piece of art is the Capitoline She-Wolf. It is a 5th century B.C.E Etruscan bronze wolf with which two small figures of Romulus and Remus were added to in 15th century C.E. Romulus' and Remus' mythical lives were the source of many renaissance artists from Berrettini to LaFosse to Cesari, and even Rubens.



Encyclopedia Britannica- Romulus and Remus
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/509038/Romulus-and-Remus

Livy, The History of Rome or Ab Urbe Condita
http://web.archive.org/web/20080926121037/http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/Liv1His.html

Cassius Dio, Roman History
http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Cassius_Dio/

Dionysius of Halicarnassus, Roman Antiquities
http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Dionysius_of_Halicarnassus/

Plutarch, The Life of Romulus
http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Plutarch/Lives/Romulus*.html

Romulus and Remus portrayal in Art
http://www.bridgemanart.com/search.aspx?key=Romulus%20and%20Remus.&sl=gb


 

ANCIENT ROMAN HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS

Often when Halloween roles around, we don’t know if we should dress up or host a party or even pass out goodies for neighboring children. As adults, it is a challenge for us to find the time, resources, or even funds to come up with a creative costume.

 

Most individuals have the biggest trouble with trying to decide “who” or  “what” they want to be. Do they want to be pretty, clever, funny, sexy, unique, or comfortable ? Luckily- all of these ideas are possible with Roman inspired Costumes!!!! Please look for the post next week on information and replication of traditional Roman attire.

Ancient Roman history and mythology are full of figures that you can attempt to research and copy; however this may lead to a night of you having to explain that you are Elagabalus (a crazy gender confused emperor from 3rd century C.E) or Cicero ( a famous orator and lawyer) or even a couple costume: Cybele & Attis (an imported Roman mother goddess and her castrated consort).

Therefore, I would suggest choosing a figure(s) that you would enjoy telling your friends about OR choosing one that is self explanatory.  The following is my list:

  Top Ancient Roman Halloween Costumes

Couples:

Julius Caesar or Marc Antony with Cleopatra
This is a great costume for any couple or trio of friends! One can even take a morbid stance on it and have these character be zombie-like or freshly dead (Julius Caesar garb fresh with bloody stab marks, Antony sporting a self-inflicted stab wound, and Cleopatra looking beautiful and sexy with a pair of asp bite marks). Or, you can simply recreate a living look or replica from a film or tv series.

Mars and Venus

The god of war and goddess of love and beauty are a great idea for the couple in which the girl wants to be graceful and sexy; and the guy just wants to carry around a sword (gladius) and some type of armor.
Pluto and Proserpina
The king and queen of the Underworld, Pluto is a fun character to fit your mood of a dark king; he could be death-like or even more of a warrior king. While Proserpina is also fun to work with; she may be depicted as a dark queen or a reluctant prisoner queen wearing bright colors and carrying her pomegranates. If the couple has a dog, the dog could be their Cerebus.
Augustus and Livia
The first true emperor and empress of Rome, this is an opportunity to show a traditional garb of the Ancient Romans equipped with crowns. Augustus may also be adorned in a military outfit; and Livia may carry with her a vile of poison.

Groups:

Romulus & Remus
As the brothers and founders of Rome, these two characters may be dressed in Roman tunics (tunica) accompanied by a friend dressed in a wolf (lupus) costume (or a wolf stuff animal). If wishing to take a darker approach to the costume, Remus can be a zombie or ghost version haunting Romulus for his murderous act.
Caligula & Other
Caligula is such a crazy character within history that he may accompanied by any number of individuals or animals. He may accompanied by his Uncle Claudius, Neptune, seashells, a horse (equus), and so on. A list of his crazy endeavor may be found here for inspiration.

 

The Fates:
The three sisters who spin, measure and cut the threads of life. This could be a fun group costume for girls. They can either wear nice outfits along with their props of thread (or yarn since it is bigger), measuring tape, and scissor- however, if desired this costume would be dark with dark clothing, messy hair, dirty faces, and so on.
 The Muses:
While traditional the Muses were all female, a friendly group of men and women may pull off this group costume. The Muses allow each individual to find which Muse they could best represent and provide the appropriate prop to their domain as can be seen here.

The nine muses—Clio, Thalia, Erato, Euterpe, Polyhymnia, Calliope, Terpsichore, Urania, Melpomene—on a Roman sarcophagus (2nd century AD, from the Louvre)

 

Costumes for One:

There are several myths in Roman literature that feature a mortal or god with an animal. This is easy to achieve since most animals (swan, spider, bull, eagle, cow) come in the form of a stuff animal, which may be found and washed from any local thrift store or toy store.

 

 

Leda & the Swan OR Artemis & Archane OR Pasiphae & the Bull

While most of these women are from Greek Mythology, luckily, the Roman wrote on all them. Leda, Artemis, and Pasiphae may be done in any numbers of way from a graceful woman/goddess to infatuated with love to angered. Their props, respectively, would be a swan, a spider and a bull- of course these props could be substituted for animal themed jewelry (i.e Swan necklace, spider purse, etc).

 

Prometheus, Sisyphus & the Danaids

These figures are from the Underworld in the realm of Tartarus. They were sent there for their villainy during their life. For Prometheus one could dress in tattered ancient garb and bring a lighter or a pet eagle. For Sisyphus, he could have a very similar look or even be in sweats or a track suit (to make it funny & modern) and carry a rock or stone prop. A Danaid could be a well dressed ancient looking costume who carries a strainer with her. These character’s story is told here.

 

Boudicca & Vercingetorix

One must not forget that although Rome was a mighty empire, there were plenty of individuals who attempted to oppose them. Boudicca is a famous Celtic Queen who stood against the Romans; inspiration for her costumes may be found here. While, Vercingetorix was a conquered enemy of Julius Caesar; inspiration may be found here for him.

Warrior Grave, The Rapa Nui's diet, Biblical Town discovered

Warrior Grave Found Under English Golf Clubhouse

Don Shim ,who made the discovery, with the spears.

The warrior grave dating to over 2,000 years old produced five spears. The grave is thought to have belonged to a warrior of  the Catuvellauni tribe. A tribe that existed in Britain before the Roman Conquest. Read More Here.


East Islanders ate What?

East Islanders or the Rapa Nui, according to the analysis of teeth, did not eat much seafood. This was a huge shock to many researchers. Instead, the Rapa Nui ate plants, yams, bananas, and for protein: the indigenous chicken and rat. Read it here.


Biblical Town Near the Sea of Galilee Discovered

The Sea of Galilee boat is the most famous artifact from this newly discovered town. Although the boat was uncovered in 1986 the discovery of the town means we now know it was found on the ancient town's shoreline

A 2,000 year town thought to be Dalmanoutha (from the Gospel of Mark) has been discovered near the Sea of Galilee. Although, the town was prosperous; scientist are not positive that it is the town that Mark describes in the New Testament. Read it all here.

GRE:The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.

The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.



The statement made is open ended since it states "effectiveness" of a country's leader is best measure by examining the well-being of said country's citizens. Effectiveness is unclear in its meaning; whether it is an indicator of the leader's self- agenda (as with a dictator) or preserving the people's rights (as with a democratic country). If a country's leader is a dictator with no regard of its citizen's well-being then their well-being is not an indicator of the dictator's effectiveness. It is essential to remember that through time there have been several effect leaders that implanted their laws and citizen's right humanely, but their actual citizen's well being was not superb.

In ancient times, the Romans were capable of ruling most of the known world from trade routes to India, Egypt and even to Britain; however even the citizens who lived in the capital, Rome, were often subjected to disease and death due to the nearby swamps and mosquitoes. The fact that, in the Roman Empire's capital, citizens were dying and were not living in the best of circumstance should not reflect on the emperors ability to manage an empire of great lengths with ease and grace. In these two cases, the statement does not hold true. The ancient empire's citizens , as well as the dictator's, did not fare well, and it is not a reflection of a leader's ineffectiveness or effectiveness.

However, it could be argued that country who do pride themselves on being democracies or even humane countries; the statement could be proven true. The United State of America is commented to be the place "Where dreams come true" or other sayings such as the "American Dream." This sanguine approach to the country places a substantial amount of pressure on its leaders to produce a country in which the average day citizen is prospering well. However, citizens in America (or other similar countries) may not have the highest well-being due to their financial circumstance or personal issues. The president is not responsible for every trouble a citizen may have. Therefore, the well-being of citizens is subjective on what is being judged and evaluated for the "well-being" indicator.

Albeit, if the statement were to be calculating "well-being" from a citizen's happiness of their rights, then democratic countries' effectiveness would be a direct reflection of a citizen's well-being. After all, democratic comes from the Greek words "demos" and "kratos" meaning people and power. Therefore, the original statement made would reflect only democratic countries and the in particular the rights given to the citizen's of aforementioned countries. 

The most recent civil rights to come into discussion across the globe is the right of same-sex marriage. Based on this right and a leader's ability of providing it, this may be reflective a citizen's well-being. A leader's ability to understand both sides of the argument while working within it's constitution would then show a leader's effectiveness to provide their citizens with laws and rights which would aid in their well-being. But, just as with many liberties, there are many sides to the coin; not every law and right is accepted by every citizen. Civil right, women's suffrage, health care and same-sex marriage are a few examples of topics which are impossible to appease everyone on. Every citizen has different views, beliefs, and maxims which they live by. Then consequently, a leader's effectiveness of providing laws and rights within a given country may upset or even anger some citizens, while at the same time it may uplift the spirit and well-being of other citizens. Thus, a country's citizens' well-being is difficult to judge since not every citizen have the same ideals of laws, rights, and well-being.

It could then be attested that the statement is too rigid in its claim. That the effectiveness of any leader can not be solely based upon the well-being of citizens. There are too many variable from the type of leader, government, morals of citizens, and essentially what is meant by "effectiveness." It then leads to the conclusion that the statement should be rendered to read " A leader's effectiveness in ruling their country for the betterment of their citizen's can be evaluated and judged by that country's citizen's well-being." This statement is clearer in its attempt to render the citizens' well-being as an indicator of leadership.

Pompeii from the British Museum Film Review

The British Museum filmed a behind the scenes look at their exhibit: Life and Death in Pompeii and Herculaneum, which ran from March 28th to September 29th, 2013. It was a collaboration of various museums who authorized the careful exchange and borrowing of several prized possessions.

The film presented to the audience many staff from the British Museum and specialist from ever field. The film took audiences on a journey that was the last days of Pompeii and Herculaneum. As an audience member, we were exposed to the grandeur and simplicity that went into grooming, preparing for the day, cooking, going about business and then an in depth look at Mount Vesuvius' activity and destruction.

The film was a tribute to individuals who had no knowledge of the site or its history, but it was also a treat for students of the ancient world who were given a personalized tour of rarely seen items by great scholar.

Mary Beard walked us through the life and day of individuals of Pompeii and Herculaneum. She disclosed very early on to cease an expectation that all Romans lived in such a luxurious way and reminded the audience of the slave to citizen ratio. She also graced us with her Latin translating various scenes and inscriptions.

Carbonized Bread

Giorgio Locatelli explained the food of the time period that was evident from the well-preservation of the ash. In the following video, he attempts to recreate the famous carbonized bread found at Pompeii. The following link provides a video, explanation and receipe.

Andrew Wallace- Hadrill is a man who loves to find the treasures that many disregard. He is one of the leading archaeologist who go wear no man wishes to go: into the sewers. In the film, he share a wealth of knowledge that he and his team discovered in the sewers (which were used to human waste as well as trash). They is a sundry of pottery from all over the world, "misplaced" jewelry, and evidence of their diet.

A piece depicting the fertility of the Pompeii region due to the volcanic soil.

Lastly, Rachel da Thame discusses the panels from the House of the Golden Bracelet and the plant and bird life.

There is a wonderful app that looks at items in detail for a small fee.  Overall, the experience was well worth the $15.00 and the occasional glances from the 10 other audience members. But, I will say there was some quiet joy, when I saw a mother and young son come to the showing.

Top Ten Ancient Roman Graffiti Inscriptions



Gates in a peace line in West Belfast, marking the boundary between segregated communities in Northern Ireland. Wikicommons.

 

In modern times, paint, particularly spray paint and sharpies are the most commonly used for graffiti. In most countries, marking or painting property without the property owner's consent is considered defacement, which is a punishable crime. However, sometimes graffiti expresses a social ,political, or even personal messages. Graffiti has been welcomed as a genre of artistic expression in certain areas of the world. Graffiti has existed since ancient times, with examples dating back to both Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome.
Ancient graffiti, like modern graffiti, displays phrases of love, political rhetoric, or simple words of thought or messages of social and political ideals^.  Graffiti, also, includes Latin curses, magic spells, alphabets, political slogans, and famous literary quotes, providing insight into ancient Roman street life.

The introduction theme of HBO's Rome has a nice collection of Roman inspired Graffiti with images and words.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/8YDngmnixSc[/youtube]

Some of the best examples of ancient Roman graffiti can be seen at the Coliseum and public bathhouses in Pompeii and Herculaneum, since they were preserved so well by the ash from Mt. Vesuvius' eruption. It is important to note that most graffiti were not transcribe by the wealthy upper-class, because an upper-class citizen would have no "lingering"  business at the Coliseum, public bathhouses, or even the Lupanar (famous brothel in Pompeii).


Engraving of Kilroy on the WWII Memorial in Washington DC. Wikicommons.

Ten ancient Roman graffiti inscriptions explained and compared to modern graffiti

Prepare to "Ridere clara voce" or "Laugh Out Loud"  or "LOL"

 

LUCIUS PINXIT.
Translation: "Lucius painted/wrote this."
The original "Kilroy was here," which is explained here.
APOLLINARIS, MEDICUS TITI IMPERATORIS HIC CACAVIT BENE.
Translation: "Apollinaris, doctor to the emperor Titus, had a good crap here."
Well, I guess everyone- even imperial physicians- need to go.
HECTICE, PARVE, MERCATOR DICIT SALVE AD VOS.
Translator: "Hector, baby, Mercator says "hello" to you."
This is common in public restrooms to see sharpie inscriptions saying  "Hello" or even entire conversations.

 

DOMINUS EST NON GRATUS ANUS RODENTUM!
Translation: "The boss isn't worth a rat's ass!"
Thousands of year later and people are still saying this!

Hoplomachus (left) vs thraex (right) (Terracotta, British Museum). Wikicommons

MIXIMUS IN LECTO. FAETOR, PECCAVIMUS, HOSPES. SI DICES: QUARE? NULLA MATELLA FUIT.
Translation: "We have wet the bed. I admit, we were wrong, my host. If you ask ‘why?’ There was no chamber pot."
Well, I guess if a grown man wets the bed- leaving a reason is polite.

 

SUSPIRIUM PUELLARUM CELADUS THRAEX.
Translation:" Celadus, the Thracian, makes the girls sigh."
A Thracian is a type of Gladiator- If I had to guess either Celadus or one of his girls wrote this.
IN PECUNIIS AUTEM MAGISTRATUS NERONIS PRINCIPIS HOC DICIT CIBUS EST VENEUM.
Translation: "The finances officer of the emperor Nero says this food is poison."
Everyone is a critic when it comes to food.

IN NONIS APRIL 19TH, EGO PANIS FIAT.Translation: On April 19th, I made bread
Well, this inscription was found in a gladiator's bathroom stall; so it must be a euphemism-
or a boast of culinary skills.

NTIOCHUS PEPENDIT DE HIC CUM MARCUS AMICAM CITHERA.
Translation: "Antiochus hung out here with his girlfriend Cithera."
This inscription is similar to the idea of carving names or initials in tree bark.

 

Venus on seashell, from the Casa di Venus, Pompeii. Before 79 AD.

Not every ancient graffiti was lewd, sexual, or humorous; here is an example of "disappointed love" explained quite elegantly:

 

Quisquis amat. veniat. Veneri volo frangere costas

fustibus et lumbos debilitare deae.

Si potest illa mihi tenerum pertundere pectus

quit ego non possim caput illae frangere fuste?

Whoever loves, may go (to hell). I want to break ribs of Venus

with a club and debilitate the goddess' lions.

If that woman can break my tender heart

why can't I hit her over the head?

- Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum IV, 1284.

Let's not forget that even if we are going to commit the crime or art of Graffiti- we should do so with proper grammar.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/XbI-fDzUJXI[/youtube]